Intro call
Free · 15 min
A short, no-pressure call to see if we're a good fit and answer your questions.
Sex & intimacy coaching · online
A private space to talk about the things that are hard to talk about.
Judgment-free, one-on-one coaching for individuals and couples, from wherever you're comfortable. Sessions over Zoom or FaceTime.
- Confidential
- LGBTQ+ affirming
- Adults 18+
- Secure payment
Nothing is too awkward, too small or too unusual to bring.
About me
Hi, I'm Sylas.
My background is in science and medicine. I became a sex and intimacy coach to help people who are unhappy with their sex lives and too often feel stuck in a cycle of shame, self-hatred, denial and regret.
Together we work on understanding what you want, saying what you need, and building a sex life that feels like yours, not the one you think you're supposed to have.
My approach is warm, direct and grounded in evidence. You set the pace.
Trained in science and medicine, I spent years researching the biological and social foundations of human connection. I'm a gay cis man, more than 10 years into recovery from drugs and alcohol, and part of the leather, BDSM and kink communities. I've lived in six countries and today I'm bicoastal, splitting my time between the East Coast and the Bay Area.
What we can work on
Common reasons people reach out
Everyone is welcome. I have particular experience working with gay, bi and queer men, the kink community, and people building a sex life in recovery.
Specialty
Sex in recovery
Rediscovering intimacy and desire without drugs or alcohol, including after chemsex or party-and-play (PnP). Coaching works alongside your recovery program, not in place of it.
Specialty
Gay, bi & queer men
Internalized shame, hookup culture, and talking about HIV, PrEP and testing with partners. Finding real intimacy, not just sex.
Specialty
Kink, leather & BDSM
Exploring what you're into with curiosity instead of guilt. Negotiating scenes and consent, finding community, and raising it with a partner.
Open relationships
Opening up, or thinking about it. Setting agreements that work for everyone and handling jealousy when it shows up.
Shame & self-acceptance
Breaking the cycle of shame, self-judgment and regret. Feeling at home in your body and getting past performance anxiety.
Desire & libido
Mismatched desire, low desire, or reconnecting after a long dry spell.
Communication
Asking for what you want, setting boundaries, and talking about sex without it becoming a fight.
Couples
Reigniting intimacy, navigating life changes, and rebuilding closeness together.
Pleasure
Understanding your own arousal and pleasure, alone or with a partner.
Sessions
Choose what fits you
Most popular
Single session
$150 · 60 min
A focused one-on-one or couples session on whatever you'd like to work on.
3-session package
$400 · 3 × 60 min
Build momentum with sessions spaced out over a few weeks. Save $50.
Prices are examples. Set your real prices in Cal.com. Payment is taken securely by Stripe when you book.
How it works
From booking to your first session
- 1
Pick a time
Choose a slot that works for you. Times show in your own time zone.
- 2
Pay securely
Checkout is handled by Stripe. Your card details never touch this site.
- 3
Get your link
Your confirmation email includes a private Zoom link, or a FaceTime link if you chose FaceTime.
- 4
Meet from anywhere
Join from somewhere private and comfortable. You'll get a reminder before we start.
Book
Find a time
Choose Zoom or FaceTime when you book. Not sure where to start?
FAQ
Questions people ask
Is this therapy?
No. Coaching is focused on education, goals, and practical change. It isn't a substitute for medical care or mental-health treatment. If something comes up that needs a therapist or doctor, I'll help you find the right referral.
Is it confidential?
Yes. What you share stays between us, with the usual legal exceptions such as risk of serious harm. Sessions are never recorded.
Zoom or FaceTime, which should I pick?
Zoom works on any device and you'll get a link automatically. FaceTime works if you're on an iPhone, iPad, or Mac. I'll send your FaceTime link before the session.
Do I have to show my face?
No. Camera off is completely fine. Some people prefer audio-only, especially at first.
Do you only work with gay men?
No. Everyone is welcome, whatever your gender, orientation or relationship style. Gay, bi and queer men, kink, and sex in recovery are areas where I have particular lived and professional experience.
I'm in recovery. Can coaching help?
Yes. Many people find sex feels unfamiliar or scary without substances, especially after chemsex. Coaching can help you build a sober sex life you actually enjoy. It works alongside your program, sponsor or therapist, not instead of them. If you're struggling with active use or at risk of relapse, please reach out to your support network or a treatment provider first.
Can my partner join?
Yes. Couples sessions are welcome. Just mention it when you book.
What's your cancellation policy?
You can reschedule or cancel for a full refund up to 24 hours before your session using the link in your confirmation email. See the full policy.
Is there anything that happens in a session that isn't talk?
No. Sessions are conversation-based coaching only. There is no nudity or sexual activity in sessions.
